I am what I want.

I am jealous.
I am jealous of the people who can write.
I am jealous of the people who can write naturally.
I am jealous of the people who can write naturally without even thinking.

I want to be able to write.
I want to be able to write like those people.
I want to be able to write like those people I am jealous of.
I want to be able to write like those people I am jealous of so I can finally say I am good at something.